Okay, I admit it. I’m a little fish in a really big pond. My Mama had warned me there would be days I would live to regret decisions I have made, and there have been times I’ve hit that point. This would be one of those times. Take me for instant. Simple Country Gal living in a man’s world of technology, trying to prove that I can do as well, if not better, than some of my male counter parts. Wasn’t getting anywhere, and decided I’d hit my mid-life crisis a bit early and made the biggest decision of my life. I jumped from one little pond, to one gigantic one, quickly wanting to expand my horizons and hit the big time. I made a huge splash that’s for sure. I quickly became a fish out of water. I found out so much along the way. Join me in the journey to discovery.
I quickly jumped into my new life of fun and excitement by exploring my surroundings. There are many (and I do mean many) differences between people in a big city and folks in a rural town. I feel that living in a big city gives you a certain amount of anonymous living that a small town does not. You can literally hide in a big city, seen without being seen is what truly seems to be happening. Walking into a store in a rural area you meet ninety percent of the folks you know. As you are aware, this doesn’t happen in a big city. People don’t know you, and unfortunately I’ve found they are often wrapped in the own little world, surrounded by a cocoon of their own making.
Kinda reminds me of if I don’t see you, I don’t have to acknowledge you, or even worse, the “I don’t know you, and I don’t want to know you, and I simply do not care”. Good, bad or indifferent, I believe we are all a product of our environment.
Imagine, someone from a small, middle of nowhere town, who literally lived there their entire life, suddenly wakes up one day to find themselves right smack dab in the middle of a large city. I’ve always considered myself a pretty good person, I love people, enjoy meeting new friends, not the least bit shy, but I still am struggling to get the swing of the ‘big town’ groove. Trying to adjust and find some like minded folks, has been the biggest challenge I’ve faced in my short forty years of life. You read that right, I feel that I bang my head against walls trying to find human interaction.
When you move to a small town, folks are interested in getting to know you, where you’re from, who you are related to, and most important, why are you here. Basically, how did you get from point A to point B and what made you make the decision. I explain it best this way: “basically small town folks want to know everything about you, including the color and brand of toilet paper you use, give us the mini-history lesson of your life.”
City folks, well, they want to move in their circles. They have their own little cities built and it’s hard to break into those ‘cliques’. I feel like I’m trying to break into Fort Knox. Now don’t get me wrong, people in my ‘big’ city world are very nice and very polite. Some will go a bit beyond that, and help you when and where they can. Most however, have their own little sand box and you just aren’t invited to play. Man, what did I do?
I guess it comes down to, what exactly do we want and need out of life? What are our purposes/goals, and what do we wish to obtain? I guess I think that when we’ve reached the end of the road and have had our final journey, I would hope I’ve made some kind of impact in someone’s life.
I think about the past and as I move toward the future I wonder where I’m going. I know when I made this change; I did it to grown and to learn. I’ve got more confidence in myself than I’ve ever had in my life. I realize I can go anywhere and I can do anything if I set my mind to it. All my life I’ve always had doubt. I’ve always wondered, what would have happened if I had moved like I had always planned to do.